follow your heart♥

goodbye

2010-10-12T23:25:00.000+08:00

after being so hesitant for such a long time, i've decided to move. moved to a better place. it's time for a new chapter to begin. bye blogger. ask for my url and i might give! =P

2010-10-12T22:00:00.003+08:00

Instead of finding a way out, focus on finding your way through.

i let my walls come down

2010-10-12T20:25:00.000+08:00

HELLO. though exams are not officially over, i'm already in the post-exam mood. all the tough papers are over~. what's left are just physics and chem paper 1 on thu. lucks to all literature students for tmr(: GIYA! okay, i'm falling in love with teenage dream idk why :/ i was procrastinating on tumblr yesterday instead of mugging chem. kinda freaked me out at how some people are actually so ever obsessed over celebrities. O.O was practically screaming over every jonghoon's picture :D chem paper was not as tough as i thought it would be, though there are some which i had no idea how to solve them =/ i didn't even bother to read properties of metals and it piak, right smack in my face. gosh. but again, it's over! so i shall not ponder about it. emath paper 1 was the easiest paper we'll ever have like one in a million years. it's really a blessing to have a manageable after so many tough papers. (: i finished cinderella's sister! like finally, after 6 months =/ the longest drama i ever took. but it's happy ending and thus, it's worth it! can't wait for glee 2 ep 4!

a push over the wall

2010-10-11T23:23:00.000+08:00

been thinking a lot recently. i guess you know it. just probably, you don't want to make things awkward and you pretended that you didn't know. maybe i'm being paranoid, but somehow, that's my instinct. i tried imagining life without you, my lack of courage pulled me back. no doubt, i'm hesitant. i no longer want my happiness to be dependent on one person, in which that is you. i don't want you to be the difference that made my mood change totally for the rest of the day. i'm tired of this rollar coaster. but how exactly, am i going to press the stop button? unless, you made me see something worth holding on. show it, tell me, prove it.

again and again

2010-10-11T15:53:00.000+08:00

i can't believe that the emath paper was actually so much tougher than the amath paper, or rather, equally tough. chem and math tmr. oh no :/ i think i screwed up all my math papers. oh well, probably this eoy is screwed. felt a lot about today's emath paper. calories + mooncake. WELL DONE.

something 'bout love

2010-10-10T20:52:00.000+08:00

hello. i finally downloaded firefox today, after much persuasion from smelly. i guess what's really cool is the theme! not very productive today. webcamming with yapanians now, while trying my best to mug math! it's just 4 more days till eoys are over! totally can't wait :D glee glee glee~

2010-10-10T00:08:00.002+08:00

i don't know why, but i feel sad.

expect brings about greater disappointment

2010-10-09T20:42:00.002+08:00

HI. had a luxury of 8 hours of sleep. and by the time i realized i had forgotten to tell dance teacher that i was not going for morning class, it was already too late. spent half an hour reading through my diary entries. just felt like doing it. started reading through chem. was absorbing way better, probably because 3/4 of the stress had flown away~ mugging emath now. and i'm tired. can't wait for exams to be over and i'll get my life back. it seems like i've been missing out a lot in life due to exams! ):

little things, one person, can change the mood of someone's totally for the rest of the day. it's just like a rollar coaster ride. sometimes exhilarating, but at times the feeling of crushed is all i get. this ride is never-ending, until the day i pressed the stop button. it's amazing how a text can liven up someone's mood, causing one to smile to him/herself all day. but a text, is definitely capable of making someone in a bad mood for days. this rollar coaster ride is so extreme but i'm hesitant if i should stop it. looking at voucher, then looking at myself, our happiness seemed to be dependent on one person, that one person who can make us happy all day or feeling crushed for days. i kept asking myself what i should do, i kept asking voucher what he/she intend to do. and we ended up with the same answer- i don't know, nth. letting nature takes its course is good. but is there anything, anything for us to hold on to so tightly? probably it all comes down to one word - happiness. because of all the good memories, because of all the happiness we once felt, that is the only thing that made me hesitant. whether i let go or hold on, there's still a million of what ifs running through my head. thought of scaling walls suddenly. the fear of losing all these happiness is the wall i faced now. how am i going to get over this wall? a little push wouldn't do, i'm at the bottom, staring up at the endless top. i grew scared. afraid that determination would not pull me through. voucher, you aren't right that mine turn out better than yours. because mine is equally bad. so don't worry, you're not alone.

building up walls around us

2010-10-09T11:58:00.000+08:00

inspiring book. strongly recommended! :D

dependent

2010-10-09T11:50:00.001+08:00

Dear Sun,

Moon here, what’s up? You’ve been looking good, have you been losing helium? I’ve been doing well, just the usual I guess… changing tides, getting howled at and the like. You know, you’d think after being around for so long people would find something else other than cheese…. seriously now, why cheese? Something not dairy based and preferably not edible as well would be awesome, thanks.
Anyway, I guess there is really no need to ask how you are; you’re always great. Center of attention, incredibly hot, not to mention all that energy you have… it is no wonder people worship you.
I guess you don’t really know what its like to be me. To have your entire existence resolve around something else, to have your importance lessened by bigger things around you. To only be as important as a reflection of light that’s not even your own. You’ve never been anything but a star, what do you know about being dull like me?
Let me tell you… it sucks. I’m so tired of constantly being overshadowed and being second best. I’m really jealous of you, actually. I wish I were you. For once, I want to know what it’s like to shine, completely on my own. I want a day of the week dedicated to me. I want to be a god. I guess I just hate that without you, I don’t matter to people. You don’t really need me, but I need you, and that hurts.
But it’s okay… I suppose it’s just not written in the stars for me. I guess I’m still celestial, so it could always be worse. I just want something more.
Well anyway, sleep tight. I’ll catch you later.
~ Moon

* * * * * * *
Dear Moon,
You don’t get it do you? How can I be the Sun without the Moon?
Of course I need you.
~ Sun

moral of story: every man on this planet needs someone else to rely on. "life's too hard to face it alone. you gotta start believing in something"- glee 2. a belief is all we need and that's when our dreams begin.

back in the past

2010-10-08T19:07:00.000+08:00

ooVoo~ and this is how 02 people bond back together! :D it feels as if exams are over. but no, back to reality, they are not. hang in there! it's gonna be over soon~

2010-10-08T16:15:00.002+08:00

hello. i don't hate human geog now. in fact, i'm relying it more than my physical. such weird things happen at times i guess.

trust yourself

2010-10-07T16:53:00.000+08:00

i will bounce back. maybe not tmr, maybe not this eoy, but one day. i will.

2010-10-07T14:45:00.003+08:00

i never felt so demoralized over exams.

i smile as i watched you from far

2010-10-06T14:28:00.000+08:00

what a great amath paper 1 i had. so great that i gave up trying for the last few minutes and instead counting how many marks i lost. looking at the clock ticking away, i feel restless not panic. i can't even prove a god damn trigo equation, i don't know what the hell is a singular matrix, i completely gave up on a log question, i had no god damn idea how to draw a linear law graph. basically, i crapped through the whole paper and was murmuring to myself throughout. i ended up either gussing or half complete my paper. and that was my amath paper 1. 80 marks. great isn't it? i feel so lethargic right now, i don't feel like carrying on for ehist. it's really the most energy-demanding eoy i had ever come across.

i need a boom charger now

2010-10-05T14:29:00.000+08:00

hello. flunked chinese. aircon nearly killed me. i'm running out of battery. my brain doesn't want to cooperate with me. this is the worst eoy i ever had. but after all these ranting, i'll still be back to study. this is life, i guess.

2010-10-04T20:36:00.000+08:00

everyone seemed to be stressed out. demoralised by papers like bio. no doubt, i'm stress-ed out too. trying to maintain a positive mindset, but what's knocking me out mentally in a god damn headache. oh pls go away. i don't want to pop panadol at all. i have yet to memorize my humans. healthcare just doesn't go into my head no matter how long i stare at it. ehist is simply pathetic. i'm gonna die in human geog. there's no time for physics. too many worries, i can't seem to shake them away. isn't a good sign eh? i need some chill out.

don't you doubt what i've been dreaming

2010-10-04T15:01:00.000+08:00

hello. el papers are okay today. wrote compo on fame! did it before, but i wrote in expository format. haha. paper 2 was O.O got stunned at the first question. now i know that waning = declining. LOL. oh well, at least my wild guess was right (: felt like sleeping during the 2nd paper. the aircon temperature was just condusive for sleep. paper 1 was too cold so i ended up shivering in my jacket. haha. 2 down! 10 more days to end of eoy. can't believe this actually marks the end of my sec 3 life. i'm still probably, in my own world i guess. in the midst of studying chinese. pray that it will be an easy paper tmr =/ got to study! lucks to everyone :D

give your best shot

2010-10-03T18:43:00.000+08:00

OH GAWD. it's a day from eoy! time flies eh. haven't started on proposal revision. shall start later. been mugging ss for the whole day, except for maybe chem, due to tuition. almost fell asleep during chem just now. probably too tired. heck caring for commenting on chi att vids. slept a lot today. i ended up turning off my alarm and going back to sleep in the afternoon. oh well, at least i didn't regret the sleep i got. i want eoy to pass asap! goh. okay, i'm gonna have an early night today. wish me luck! oh and i'm still dying in human geog. =/ my brain just won't abosorb the facts the way i want it to.

one after another

2010-10-03T13:47:00.000+08:00

HI. i'm dying in ss right now. i don't understand why resettlement policy cannot be accepted as one of the factors under the result of conflict between the singhalese and tamils. i'm tired. but no, 2 more weeks and all these would be over. hang on a little longer.

2010-10-03T01:07:00.002+08:00

how i wish i can do that.

don't ever look back

2010-10-02T11:42:00.000+08:00

oh well, i know i'm supposed to be studying but i feel like sleeping the moment i see human geog. you can't blame me for that, i'm still trying to figure out all the benefits and limitations for blue and green revolution. =/ done with GM food! but for the rest of chapter on geog of food... forget it. shall mug intensively after this. been attempting lorms questions. seems to be helping me to memorize. can't believe that exams are starting in 2 days time. WOW isn't it. but i want eoys to be over quick quick. i can foresee all the fun i'll be having! well, the only exception is olevel physics spa. guess what? that is included as one of our post exam activties! pathetic -.- but i can see that i'll be real busy after eoys too. having intensive due to syf i guess. time pass really fast. but somehow, i seem to enjoy it. oh webcam-ed with yijie, justin, eunice and marcus at 1am plus this morning! haha. and thus i only woke up at 10am. LOL. oh well, i got to get going. MUG OH MUG.

the only exception

2010-10-01T23:10:00.003+08:00

When I was younger

I saw my daddy cry
And curse at the wind
He broke his own heart
And I watched
As he tried to reassemble it

And my momma swore that
She would never let herself forget
And that was the day that I promised
I'd never sing of love
If it does not exist

But darling,
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
Maybe I know, somewhere
Deep in my soul
That love never lasts
And we've got to find other ways
To make it alone
Keep a straight face

And I've always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable, distance
And up until now

I had sworn to myself that I'm

Content with loneliness
Because none of it was ever worth the risk

Well, You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

I've got a tight grip on reality
But I can't
Let go of what's in front of me here
I know you're leaving
In the morning, when you wake up
Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream
Ohh---
You, are, the only exception

think, rethink.

2010-10-01T15:29:00.000+08:00

hello. can't resist the temptation and i decided to watch glee 2! xD been mugging and on the comp since i'm awake. well, i guess that's my children's day! HAHA. well, in technical form, study day okay. can't wait for eoys to be over. i can see all the fun i'll be having once again! :D but meanwhile, MUG ON!

perspective.vision.choices

2010-10-01T12:35:00.001+08:00

The day you believe you've reached your fullest potential is the day you haven't... because you still have today.

The only limits you have are the limits you put on yourself.

-Nick Vujicic

maybe if my heart stopped beating

2010-09-30T15:53:00.000+08:00

hello world. life's pretty good. "exams are not that important. being happy is the most important thing in life" - art rep. makes sense! hence, i kept telling myself that, call it self-denial. but oh well, it seems like i'm absorbing my facts much better than i kept recalling how many days more to eoy. shall try my best. whatever the result might be is not important anymore i guess. because at least i have no regrets. reflecting seems to be working on me, and somehow it pushes me on. i shall take it that it's a good sign. maybe i've been holding too tightly to so many things, i'm starting to lose the ones i cherish the most. but i'll see what i can do, maybe time is the factor =/ nevertheless, i'm staying optimistic and not letting any obstacles pull me down.

cheng's words are really heartening. i miss her so much D:

eat.pray.love

2010-09-30T15:42:00.000+08:00

put a little more faith in life. it might turn out better than what we thought. thought, NOT EXPECT.

爱就对了

2010-09-29T16:58:00.000+08:00

总是要流一些滚烫热泪

才能换来对爱的体会
你看时间没有毁灭
心也没有碎
其他的就交时间解决
你当然可以重新再爱
受过伤的感动怎样爱与被爱
多余

反正你有他的回忆
有空白回忆
离开你的只有他但是爱还在
但是爱还在

听我说
爱是对的
错的是我们还没学会爱
就急着爱人
而爱错人

可是
爱就对了
遇到下一个
爱上就爱了
痛苦或快乐都是我的

我当然经历过你现在的感受
我想那是人必经的折磨
也许每个人都该是某个人成长的助手
受一点苦痛
帮助她成熟

听我说
爱是对的
错的是我们还没学会爱
就急着爱人
而爱错人

可是
爱就对了
遇到下一个
爱上就爱了
痛苦或快乐都是我的

别探听他的线索
别等待他会回头
爱不喜欢看人软弱
别继续把心封锁
别躲在伤心里头

爱万一来了别错过
爱是对的
错的是我们还没学会爱
就急着爱人
而爱错人

可是
爱就对了
遇到下一个
爱上就爱了
痛苦或快乐都是我的

听我说
爱是对的
错的是别人自以为的爱
才会有爱人又伤害爱人
可是
爱就对了
爱了就值得
爱就能懂得
健身当快乐

the game in reality

2010-09-29T16:53:00.000+08:00

getting inspired is good. getting ever so inspired is the best.

take a breathe, say goodnight

2010-09-28T15:25:00.000+08:00

hello world :D great day today. hu jia hao randomly told me my oral marks today. LOL. did fine(: got back amath and physics test today, passed both! shall strive harder next time round. oh, no more next time. the next time will be eoy already! gosh, time flies! it seems like yesterday that mye just ended and now it's eoy again?! less than a week. tons of things to complete. deprived of sleep. for once, i wished i had more than 24 hours. but again, like what mr tang say, must learn to 挪出时间！i see post-its, books and notes everywhere, maybe even in my dreams. haha. well, i ought to study now! toodles O: oh! i like today's spa. paper chromatography is cool! :D

The very least you can do in your life is figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance, but live right in it, under its roof.

i'll be there

2010-09-27T21:01:00.000+08:00

finally blogger is allowing me to post a picture. oral was fine i guess. didn't freak out. so i guess i'll do fine. according to my timetable, i should finish revision for further trigo by today. but i'm still stcuk at proving now and i'm super ultra tired. my eyes seemed to be burning too. argh. HELP. 7 more days D:

little things in life

2010-09-26T19:34:00.000+08:00

east coast was great! was totally relaxing(: almost cycled the whole east coast in 2hrs. ALMOST. it's really a great place to relax! in fact, i managed to grasp some geog concepts there too! :D so this trip is definitely worth it. will visit east coast again after eoys. not many people there actually. guess everyone's busy preparing for exams O: the stress seemed to have fade off the moment i biked. biked aimlessly, guess it's the best way to relax. you can just go wherever you want. i see people on rollarblade falling down. but they stood up again and kept trying. attitude (y) i guess beach is the best way to motivate myself and i'll go back there after my eoys! :D

you're my shooting star

2010-09-26T14:15:00.000+08:00

when words can't express how you feel, let music do the job. tuition's especially dry today, no idea why. scribbling geog away instead. opps. pasir ris/ east coast at 3 plus later! *prays that it won't rain* (: off to mug! toodles O:
p.s. i hate being sick. really. what's more, i'm having oral tmr. wish me luck =/

爱错就爱错

2010-09-26T14:12:00.000+08:00

hebe: 寂寞寂寞就好
还是原来那个我不过撂掉几公升泪所以变瘦

对着镜子我承诺迟早我会换这张脸应对笑容
不算什么爱错就爱错
早点认错早一点解脱

我寂寞寂寞就好这时候谁都别来安慰拥抱
就让我一个人去痛到受不了伤到快疯掉
死不了就还好

我寂寞寂寞就好你真的不用来我回忆里微笑
我就不相信我会笨到忘不了赖着不放掉
人本来就寂寞的借来的都该还掉
我总会把你戒掉

还是原来那个你是我自己做梦你又改变什么
再多的爱也没用每个人有每个人的业障因果
会有什么什么都没有
早点看破才看的见以后

我寂寞寂寞就好这时候谁都别来安慰拥抱
就让我一个人去痛到受不了伤到快疯掉
死不了就还好

我寂寞寂寞就好你真的不用来我回忆里微笑
我就不相信我会笨到忘不了赖着不放掉
人本来就寂寞的我总会把你戒掉

as i look back in life

2010-09-25T20:59:00.001+08:00

listening to all the kalei recordings again(: i miss playing those songs, the graduating seniors, those intensives D: i'm posting at this time as i didn't go for dance afterall. sick again. argh. i hate it when i'm sick. i bet i'll be missing out tons today. i miss 瑶族舞曲！

The truth doesn’t always set you free; people prefer to believe prettier, neatly wrapped lies.

a year without rain

2010-09-25T14:30:00.000+08:00

extra geog lesson in the morning. breakfast-ed with shermaine before heading for school. hotcakes! (y) geog was kinda dry but still managed to stay awake. sia spammed us with last min notes, which practically made me stress ttm. east coast/ pasir ris tmr! like finally! prays that it won't rain. i really have to destress, i can feel that my concentration span is shortening somehow =/ if not for lays and sour sweets, i think i would have fallen asleep while mugging. sudden craving for cup walker. i'm weird i guess! haha. always having a sudden craving for something random. raining now, guess i'll have a short nap after this post. i think, i'm gonna screw up my ss and ehist. well, who cares? my pure geog is more important :D

2010-09-24T14:05:00.002+08:00

i wanna go busing with you after exams <3 failed attempt the last time round.

accept it, move on. this is life.

2010-09-24T14:02:00.000+08:00

i learn something today. just be who you are because people are still gonna hate you even though you put on a mask. love you or love you not, it's their problem not your fret. so live the life you love and love the life you live. you won't regret it(: those people that once hurt you became your motivation and they have turned out useless. i would rather have fewer yet true friends than you having a million of fake friends. i don't care how you look at me. but one wrong assumption you made was that you said you know me well. instead, it should be changed to KNEW. because you don't know how much i've changed and looks like you're still stuck in the past, unable to move on. that's pathetic. it's plain stupid to be hurt by you over and over again and so i've chose to move on. but have you?

life's great recently. physics test was suck. made tons of careless mistakes. a pass can do =/

2010-09-23T22:25:00.001+08:00

FML. i hate studying, especially when i'm tired. power naps don't work on me. either i kept pressing the snooze button or don't even bother about the alarm and continue with my sleep. i'm deprived of sleep and i have panda eyes now. stress is accumulating, maybe one day i'll be an acid lava volcano, which have stress trapped inside and once it erupt, it can blow off its top. my brain seems to be dying. it's not absorbing whatever i'm reading. i hate it seriously. okay i'm done with my ranting =/

as the world goes round and round

2010-09-23T17:56:00.000+08:00

i'm tired today. i really am. from the moment i'm awake till now. panda eyes D: i screwed up my spa, don't asl me how. because i'm pissed enough. been grumpy recently, guess i'll be grumpy till exams are over. it's like i don't want to care anymore but i know i can't. been pushing myself, probably ttm already. and maybe that explains my exhaustion. gg for tmr's physics test. i hate this life.

new prespective

2010-09-22T19:17:00.000+08:00

been replaying 就这样好了for tons of times. not sick of it. inspiring. eoy's in 12 days time. i was feeling so stressed up i almost tore my geog notes yesterday. olevel spa tmr! O: hope i don't screw things up. studying after school with aquila. great time to revise past semester math. forgotten most of them!

school was fine i guess. ehist was taken over by some relief teacher. spent most of the time studying physics rather than doing the work assigned. chinese lesson next! :D fun as usual! was caught doing physics in mr tang's class =/ english was ._. supposed to have oral today but was postponed to next week. got tested by fizah during lesson today. not as bad as i thought. my examiner is hu jia tao! haha. math was sleepy. physics for 2hr straight! was on the verge of sleeping. but the 'P' question made the whole class roar into laughter. LOL. i survived at last. (: stayed back for radio doc. saw isaac and eugenia on the way down. was supposed to study with them, but then ended up side tracking. walked in the rain with them. FLUFFY! (Y) bused home with eugenia. walking in the rain remind me of moon D: forget it gahhhhss. i just ate a mooncake which contained whisky, unknowningly =/ i feel kinda sleepy now as a result. well, i should continue with my mugging!

2010-09-22T18:47:00.000+08:00

张靓颖– 就这样好了

我不想再为你哭了
当我们都已说好了
没必要去负责每个人的快乐

就当听完了这首歌
你有选择离开我的资格
舍得都已不算什么

雨过天晴后的天色一切都值得
也许寂寞比较不适合去给彼此拉扯
答应了我要很快乐
尽量唱着我们的歌
在你的世界我偶尔只是个
不同的过客就够了
答应了我你会很快乐
幸福到处随手可得
把眼泪全都流干了
把快乐都定格就这样好了

就当听完了这首歌
你有选择离开我的资格
舍得都已不算什么

雨过天晴后的天色一切都值得
也许寂寞比较不适合去给彼此拉扯
答应了我要很快乐
尽量唱着我们的歌
在你的世界我偶尔只是个
不同的过客就够了
答应了我你会很快乐
幸福到处随手可得

把眼泪全都流干了
把快乐都定格就这样好了
答应了我要很快乐
尽量唱着我们的歌
在你的世界我偶尔只是个
不同的过客就够了
答应了我你会很快乐
幸福到处随手可得
把眼泪全都流干了
把快乐都定格就这样好了

该停止了，该放手了，该放弃了。犹豫了好久，矛盾了好久，我想就这样好了。不想因为你而烦恼。我的心情不在因为你你存在而上上下下。我在你的世界曾是一个不同的过客就够了。一厢情愿，不断追赶，现在我累了。明知道会有这种后果，但因为是你，不断地往前冲。坚强了，坚定了，我也该学如何独立了。我曾是你的快乐之一，这样就够了。虽然舍不得，却因为害怕而不想继续坚持下去。我看到的不是未来，在继续逞强下去只会让自己因为害怕而奔溃。不值得。至少，我会说服我内心的我，真实的我。因为有时，伤了，痛了，懂了，并不代表能了。达到目标了，不能这么贪心。

2010-09-22T18:24:00.001+08:00

Life is the feeling of happiness, to the extent you think your insides are going to explode. It’s having that flutter in your stomach before you kiss someone you care so much about. It’s opening your eyes in the morning and feeling them sting because you spent the whole night crying. It’s letting people go because new ones will always enter your life. It’s knowing that when you feel all these things, good or bad, you’re not alone in it. It’s realizing that there is always someone who finds you inspiring and beautiful and knowing that life doesn’t have a purpose unless you let it.

2010-09-21T14:49:00.001+08:00

丁当 - 你为什么说谎

这次我走开再没有话要说出来
我不想再期待走下去还能多精彩
我不了解你怎能心安
也抓不住你的倔强
可是我知道你你为什么说谎

你说你还在一分一秒也没走开
我想留在这里可是这一切已太晚
我不能再像从前一样
为我们的明天疯狂
你不必解释你为什么说谎

你不能说我没有爱过说我没等过难过
我也想说也许能重来我却还是沉默
你一直问我的心到底在不在
问我怎能不遗憾就丢失爱
而我的泪怎么就流下来

你说你还在一分一秒也没走开
我想留在这里可是这一切已太晚
我不能再像从前一样
为我们的明天疯狂
你不必解释你为什么说谎

你不能说我没有爱过说我没等过难过
我也想说也许能重来我却还是沉默
你一直问我的心到底在不在
问我怎能不遗憾就丢失爱
而我的泪怎么就流下来

你不能说我没有爱过说我没等过难过
我也想说也许能重来我却还是沉默
你一直问我的心到底在不在
问我怎能不遗憾就丢失爱
而我的泪怎么就流下来

你一直问我的心到底在不在
问我怎能不遗憾就丢失爱
而我的泪怎么就流下来

the road seems endless

2010-09-21T14:46:00.000+08:00

bad day, the office auntie spoiled my mood. i'm sick and tired of this repetive cycle. stressed out, totally. beach one day, perhaps? everyone's little expectations and expections of ownself is stressing me out. if only i could escape from such cycle. it's just like a vicous cycle..

maybe you've noticed, maybe you haven't, either way, i don't wish to care. for once.

this is for you!

2010-09-20T18:06:00.000+08:00

thanks aquila(: you may think you never did much, but you made me feel better, so much better. thanks for staying with me today after school! i'll never forget adui! :D THANK YOU!

significance

2010-09-20T18:02:00.000+08:00

hi world, sorry for that emotional post yesterday. was god damn tired due to sleeping late yesterday. couldn't get to sleep i guess, from all that thoughts. guess i'm feeling a little better, but not as great. friends kept me away from thinking for quite a bit and i was thankful for that. yes, i've found the significance of friends again(: day went pretty well though i woke up kinda grumpy. shermaine and i completely gave up on reading today. chatted instead. ehist was not as dry, maybe it's just my motivation that kept me going, but who cares! math was sleepy. i was on the verge of lying my head on the desk but still held myself up. ss was argh. hatest subject, what do you think. i can't even remember what we did. oh comp lab. right. LOL. ce was fun! assembly was inspring and motivating i guess. math test straight. made wild guesses for some O: stayed back to finish up math and we ended at 4 plus. shermaine, liya, aquila and i went to hougang point for lunch cum dinner. LOL. talked about real loads of stuff. and really, i'm thankful to have them:D adui! adui! adui! (Y) super cute. milk tea's uber nice. shall have it again next time. slacked till 5 plus, shall take it as a form of relaxation! i shall mug ss now, TRY i mean.

it still hurts, but it seemed to ease abit, though i know it may be back anytime without warning.

hanging by a thread

2010-09-19T21:50:00.002+08:00

you know what? even if you ever read this, i doubt you know that it's even you. i feel like crying out loud, but i can't. i practically bombed the phone just to confirm if it was you, praying that it wasn't. and when the truth dawned on me, you didn't know how great the impact was, nor did you know how thrashed i felt. you brought up my hopes, and then dumped it all the way down to a negative million. i don't want to wake up, nor do i want to believe. it's another de javu. i hate to admit it, maybe it's another misunderstanding. just how many misunderstandings did we have? enough is enough. i don't fucking care what misunderstanding it is this time. spamming trigo, further coordinate geometry, geography won't help to ease the pain, not even a single bit. it aches so badly, i started to ask myself why. why did i fall in this badly, why did i even started this, why did i expect so much. self-denial won't help but reality is harsh, so harsh i don't know how long i can withstand it. i didn't dare to look at all last conversations/ texts we once had because i wouldn't be able to hold back my tears. you had no idea how happy i was when you called/ talked to me. because it was rare, really rare. maybe because i was too enthusiastic, i wasn't fully conscious, i don't know because my heart is equally confused. i don't know which way i'm heading right now, i'm lost. i know i shouldn't be grieving over this, but it hurts so much i can't simply ignore the pain that's bothering me. you know i'm weak, that i'm not as strong as others thought i was, yet this was what you've given me. what should i say? well done? forget it.

what if forever ends tmr

2010-09-19T16:34:00.001+08:00

would things remain this way? what if it doesn't? what if just like everyone says, nothing last forever? i'm confused, at my wits end. continuing this way, is it just self-denial or was it you misleading me? i don't want it to stop, but how long is your forever? contradicting and ironic yea. or maybe, i was just being paraniod. i don't know..

reach up, aim high

2010-09-18T23:04:00.000+08:00

hello world. i have no motivation to mug now, so i shall blog. dance is funny as usual. "what are we gonna wear?" louisa cum xinhui. LOL. we can't stop laughing. too much laughing gas, or probably, it's just much of a disguise. laugh is the best disguise you can ever put on. people can look through your fake smile, but few, very few can sense the mask you're putting on when you laugh. nevertheless, it was still funny. haha. didn't do pointe work today. was working on some dance for parents day ( my mum's definitely not gonna be there :D) rachelle's conclusion: fans are biased towards right handers! left handers got no grip, and we all realized that. haha. grond alegro 2 was erm.. not grond at all, for me. not enough space luh! and i kept stepping on my foot upon landing. did tons of turns today. managed to spot better the 2nd time, not as dizzy as a result! pose turns on pointe is (Y). like it somehow. haha. dance was good overall. kept me mind off the stress and too much thinking(: but so much for sweating all out, i'm sleepy now. shingz!

there's a million stars but only 1 moon

2010-09-18T15:42:00.000+08:00

dreaded today. had to wake up early and go for extra lesson in school. it was planned to be a 2r1r2 lesson. and it turned out to be a 3hr block lesson. sit until my ass pain. murphy, liya and i were on the verge of sleeping. can tell that most of the class were stoning too. rushed home to take cheng's notes and went back school again to find her. so i went back and forth a total of 4 times today. argh. having further coordinate test on monday yet i still don't get understand a single shit. i can do 12 questions on acelearning and only getting 2 right. i can go 10 questions on amath book without getting half of them right. i'm tired. i'm stressed. but it's just another 16 days. i haven't even started on my language. lagging behind loads. i feel i haven't done enough and i can't afford to screw this eoy up. i've totally screwed my mye, i can't lose this 70%. argh. i'm in a bad bad mood today. i'm sleepy, drowsy and grumpy now. for the first time, i don't feel like going dance, at all.

let's go back to where we all started

2010-09-17T14:18:00.000+08:00

tons of things to finish. halfway through my geog notes. i'm getting kinda sleepy and that's why i decided to post and intend to go back to it later. school's fine today, just that i had cramps for the whole day. feel crappy as a result. chinese lesson was fun as usual(: mr tang kept side tracking today, but it provided much humor and wake all of us up from the drowsy wet monring. physics spa was next. i hate planning axis-es. seriously. completing my graph later. geog was productive! i managed to absorb quite a bit, which is a good thing and i have to anyway! O: cramps got really bad during math. though yeo yeo was teaching geometrical properties of circles, tablemate was chionging his work, which was supposed to be handed in today. managed to solve 1 further trigo identity! i love the sense of satisfaction:D fisherman's friend! LOL. (Y) supposed to have photoshoot, but was postponed due to wet weather. and i went home super early! probably meeting old cheng later, giving her back her precious geog notes :D alrights, i should continue my geog now!

restart my heart

2010-09-16T17:05:00.000+08:00

hi world:D life's great today. isn't sleepy at all, except for last lesson. pe was real fun! tennis with jia yi is FUN! ehist was great for once, my grades improved for the ehist test(: fizah's not here today. kinda expected, considering her state yesterday, hahas. was having gastric since ehist, but still managed to pull through. math was next. hmm, nothing much, just more gossiping with tablemate today than usual. fishermen's friend! LOL. chem lesson was hilarious. we are like homeless, the xinmin tribe. wandered for classroom and finally made do with bio lab. the aircon made me feel like sleeping apparently D: liya and i were trying to hard to concentrate. blah. ended up going home with cheng;D been ages since we last went home. (Y) to her!

i don't know what to say to you. you never did realize there was a problem, do you?

don't look back, unless it's a great view

2010-09-15T16:14:00.000+08:00

and then you;ll find out if this friendship is worthwhile.

okay, i know i shouldn't be pondering so much and being so emotional. but i can't help it. i woke up and the first thing it pops into my head is this, i slept at the end of the day confused than ever, i don't know if this friendship is still going to work out. simply not caring about it is impossible. at least, i can't bring myself to do that. but i guess it's tiring me out, it's making my mood go all grumpy, it's dragging me down. okay, i shall stop my ranting and start posting on my day.

lessons are sleepy to me. all except chinese. math was 2 hour block today, which made me sleepy than ever. surprisingly, the class is drowsy too. looks like i'm not the only one! english was uber funny. i shall not be evil :D but really, it's fun! we seemed to be playing charades with fizah. HAHAHA. geog revision is productive so far, but still trying to mug and memorize. chem is zzz. sit at the edge of the chair if you feel like sleeping! hahas. i can understand why caleb and murphy kept sleeping. we had an hour break before our math test. went with shermaine for lunch. slurpee is now at 1 buck! O: cool! but we can't finish it. D: gave justin the remaining, apparently he don't mind the half drank slurpee! math test was pretty okay. 3 questions only! so much easier as compared to the bearings one =/ i shall mug ss later. or rather, i MUST and SHOULD! oh, i should not be so grumpy D: maybe i'm pms-ing. watch out.

Unknowingly smiling when I suddenly remember you

2010-09-14T17:31:00.000+08:00

it's stupid. that's how i feel. i don't think this is right, at all. nobody deserves to be critised. no body deserved to be descriminated. nobody, absoultely nobody deserves such unkind treatment. a human's heart is the most fragile despite it being the strongest muscle. it's the words that hurt, it's the actions that hurt. all these little details might not seem to have any impact. but but by bit, they add up to become.. i don't think i'll need to say it. all of us know it. it's just a matter of fact whether we want to do anything about it or not. nobody can in nobody under such circumstances. i feel sad for myself, everyone. pathetic shit.

neglected

2010-09-13T20:06:00.000+08:00

took this from cheng's blog, so credits go to her(:

Maybe i'm too dependent,

but i just wanted a close friend who can stay with me.
and you just don't seem to understand, from my point of view.
Stop! & look around,
maybe you haven't realise that you've missed me out.

this ain't the first time. in fact, it's the 2nd time. i tried hinting you but i guess you don't seemed to get it. telling you directly in the face doesn't seem to work anymore. and so, i'm lost. i'm at my wits end. when was it that we last talked about our lives? when was it that we ate lunch together? i don't think you had ever realized that you have missed me out. probably to you, i'm just a friend out of your many friends. but it isn't that way to me. it might take years to build up a friendship and only minutes are needed to destroy it. i still have those letters you wrote to me, those emails that we sent each other, still think about you everyday. but have you? i'm not as independent as you think i am, and you might never see this, but i'm just trying out my luck. hopefully, this message would be conveyed to you somehow. i'm really sick and tired of taking the initiative all the time. maybe by the time you realized that you still had me as a friend, it would be too late, for we had drifted too far apart and it just shows that you take my concern and our friendship for granted.

yapanese!

2010-09-12T22:14:00.000+08:00

i miss 202'09, really. it's like the homesick feeling. because those smiles and feelings were real, because of how bonded we really are, because of how we all wrote down we want class tee on every piece of math assignment, because of how hard we cried on the last day of school, because of our 02 corner, because of every single little detail that seemed like nothing to outsiders. they were memories, memories of the 02-ians. i want to rewind back times, because i miss them, and i really mean it. i miss how close we were, 1 class, 1 heart.

your smile lights up this whole town

2010-09-12T15:35:00.000+08:00

what a nice att i have. it's wasting my whole lot of time lahs D: and youtube uploader is making me ultra pissed. looking at the rate my video is uploading can't make me pissed any further. i really hate uploading stuff. 9 out of my 10 tries you'll get a failed icon. -.- shitty huh, very rather. and i'm having 2 math tests tmr, yet to study finish. say good luck to me. tyvm. i officially announced that i'm freakingly stressed out.

give it all you've got

2010-09-11T22:30:00.000+08:00

i feel panicky for not mugging as much today. though i did the things i'm supposed to complete, but i can still sense the panic in me. i don't know why. i really need to settle down and study but somehow i can't concentrate=/ no not at this crucial period. stress is freaking me out. literally. ROAR. i need motivation!

you're just not my everything

2010-09-10T23:05:00.000+08:00

i know i've been spamming blogger today(: but nevermind! shall post about my day. didn't really study much today. couldn't abosorb as much as previous days, so i guess i've reached my max=/ family gathering was cute. yes cute. fuzzy wuzzy! HAHA. tumblr's kinda addictive, once i open the browser, i can't seem to off it, even though the red button is just up there. and my battery's dying. so i guess that should keep me away from my lappy~ i need the beach D: at least i can witness longshore drift, breakwaters, constructive waves, strong swash and SAND! i'll find time to go there(:

this is life.

2010-09-10T15:36:00.002+08:00

Because sometimes there is no easy way out. You just have to grin and bear it. Sometimes the only escape route is to go straight through the flames, just brace yourself and bite your lip. Sometimes you have to sever the ties clean off. Because in every relationship there comes a point when the damage is too much and no matter how good it once was, the memories can’t sustain you. You have to save yourself knowing all the while it will hurt like hell. Because you can’t keep giving someone everything if you get nothing in return.

make a wish

2010-09-10T15:06:00.002+08:00

Make a wish and place it in your heart. Anything you want, everything you want. Do you have it? Good. Now believe it can come true. You never know where the next miracle is gonna come from, the next smile, the next wish come true. But if you believe that it’s right around the corner, and you open your heart and mind to the possibility of it, to the certainty of it. You just might get the thing you’re wishing for. The world is full of magic. You just have to believe in it. So make your wish. Do you have it? Good. Now believe in it. With all your heart
-One Tree Hill

2010-09-10T14:11:00.001+08:00

Dance is your pulse, your heartbeat, your breathing. It’s the rhythm of your life. It’s the expression in time and movement, in happiness, in joy, sadness, and envy.

2010-09-10T13:17:00.001+08:00

I used to think the worst thing in life was ending up all alone, it’s not.. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone.''

- World’s Greatest Dad

2010-09-10T13:11:00.001+08:00

Love life and Life will love you back(:

2010-09-10T13:10:00.001+08:00

''Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life.''

Mary Manin Morrissey

2010-09-10T13:08:00.001+08:00

`people are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges

run and never turn back

2010-09-10T13:07:00.000+08:00

i'm still tired despite sleeping early yesterday. i can't even mug for straight 2 hours, it just feel as if my mind isn't absorbing anything. the feeling sucks and it makes me feel frustrated. i shall try again later. geog geog geog. i was supposed to study ss yesterday night and i ended up drawing on my ss notes book. how nice. i wasted 30 minutes on that and then i gave up studying because i wasn't absorbing anything. haven't done chinese att yet. now i really wish time would slow down D: or at least, put it on a standstill. haha. wishful thinking i know. shit, i still feel like sleeping.

You should never give yourself a chance to fall apart because, when you do, it becomes a tendency and it happens over and over again. You must practise staying strong instead.

— Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat Pray Love

chasing pavements

2010-09-09T13:59:00.000+08:00

hi world. slept super early yesterday night despite sleeping till 7.30 at night. guess i'm really tired due to all the mugging( hope so). chem lesson was surprisingly good today. mr yip spammed us with sweets + chocolates :D super cool. finished topic on periodic table, am ever so glad that transition metals are not included in Os. got back test. expected i guess. i blanked out halfway through the test, so i guess these marks are expected. i shall work harder(: completed 1 emath practice paper (like finally!), and thus i'm taking a break here. i shall start on humans later, yet to decide which one to continue. will be mugging whole day i guess. like what else. LOL. family gathering tmr(: at least there's a break from all my books =/ alrights, byebye!

wasn't what i wanted

2010-09-08T17:26:00.000+08:00

math camp ended. was duper tired even though i didn't stay over. guess it's due to all the thinking. corrections session was crazy. i had never done so many corrections for my whole life. lunch was yummy! not in the mood to post actually. i'm fighting to stay awake. shucks. life sucks.

faith

2010-09-07T22:10:00.000+08:00

i told myself you weren't worth my tears. but somehow, at the thought of your words, i couldn't hold it any longer. maybe it's time to move on, shall try to convince myself that.

2010-09-06T23:32:00.002+08:00

hahaha. i think mugging is fun, for once(:

my heart stops, my breathing dies

2010-09-06T15:52:00.000+08:00

f.t.i's love love love kept ringing in my head for the whole day. and the moment i came home, i went to listen to it immidiately. :D didn't manage to sleep in today either due to extra lessons. was crapping away with shermaine and liya during the whole physics lesson. subway for lunch! was almost late for chinese. hehes. was kinda sleepy throughout. and he released us early! which made me happy to the utmost. there's still math test and file check! shucks man D:

you built up a world of magic

2010-09-05T16:42:00.000+08:00

i'm really a sleepyhead/ pig, however you call it. i set the alarm for half an hour and i woke up after an hour. was almost sleeping throughout mavis. it was too cold, perfect condition for sleeping. i was practically fighting to stay awake. ace learning is shingz. hate it ttm. the questions are like wth O: so pissed with it, i gave up on the quiz, due in a few days time. it's a lzay sunday for me, i don't feel like doing work, but i know i can't. how ironic. there's still remedial tmr, all the way till 4pm. how nice. but i'm somewhat looking forward to chinese lesson tmr(: 4 hours straight. hardcore! i want to eat sticky! am so tempted to go all the way to central to buy some D: it makes me HIGH btw. louisa, xinhui and rachelle will know what i mean! dance was sooo crazy yesterday. i was hypering away thanks to the glucose taken(:

hang on a little longer

2010-09-04T12:40:00.000+08:00

You should never give yourself a chance to fall apart because, when you do, it becomes a tendency and it happens over and over again. You must practise staying strong instead.

replayed f.t.i songs over and over again. somehow, hongki's voice makes me think of you=/ they're kinda sad and they're making me sad. mugging seems to help me ignore the world, but the pressure is definitely not going away. something happened in dance morning class today.

seeing her being laughed by the others in class today hit me suddenly. and she cried. it hurts and my heart aches for her. this wasn't what she wanted and it wasn't her fault at all. even though they're just 6-7 year old kids, but they still laughed. i don't know, it just dawned on me how cold this world actually is.

Maybe its the look you get in your eyes

2010-09-03T17:32:00.000+08:00

i'm moody today. don't know why. i hate fridays for the first time. maybe because i didn't manage to say bye before the 1 week of dreading "hols". i have to go back school everyday. shucks=/ have so many projects due! okay, i shall stop my ranting.

ought to reflect what mdm liew talked about this morning, even though my eyes were closed half the time. we should never take things for granted. cherish them to the utmost because when you lose it, you'll regret it, totally. math was first lesson. nothing much. english was next. pretty fun! we played hot air balloon. omg, so funny. physics was heck. don't like it anyway. i was so hungry and i didn't manage to eat during recess. chinese was alright. i don't like the att which we're supposed to do. totally suck. in fact, everyone dislikes it i guess. so troublesome! =/ math test straight. didn't study due to physics att, which nearly drove me crazy yesterday. wasn't as bad as expected. went to find ms lin. she taught me the whole of further coordinate geometry! :D so nice right. had committee meeting after that. ended at 4. and i had my first proper meal near 5. HAHA. great friday huh. i shall mug and let time pass quickly(:

i feel like eating popcorn suddenly!

I'M SORRY ISAAC!

2010-09-02T17:48:00.000+08:00

I realized that none of my great days in life matter without you. You’re the one I want next to me when my dreams come true. You’re the one I want next to me if they don’t.

As long as I have you, nothing else matters.

school started off with the weird weird dou hao today. so not interesting luh D: feeling drowsy throughout the whole session. pe was so fun! soccer(: mt was the best lesson as usual, talked about tuition. that definitely made yijie and i thought of zoey seah. LOL. ultra amusing. amath was crap. don't understand most of the stuff. chem test was next. just 5 min before the test, i balnked out. i forgot all the formulae and no matter how hard i try, they just don't go into my head. heck it. sat for the test anyway. wasn't as bad as the previous one, but mcq is equally crap. well, at least i've got a probability of 25% getting them right! english was usual. radio doc today, managed to unzip the file (like phew!). worked on scene 3, going pretty smoothly i guess. ss was HAHA. went to comp lab and started on sept hold hw. twitter-ing away:D and i wrote something on prezi which nearly made aquila killed me. =P physics extra lesson was super duper boring. don't know what tay is talking about. sorry isaac! D: i promise that won't happen again. so now, i have trigo test to freat about and physics att to rush. fighting my tiredness. i need some motivation! gahhhhhhhsss.

more than a motivation

2010-09-01T18:29:00.001+08:00

hi world. i'm tired D: somehow i woke up extra early today, despite it being a holiday O: went to school for radio documentry proj. leiyuen and i kept screaming at the screen when i went to allkpop. hehes. some contruction noise made it almost impossible for us to record our lines =/ but still, we made it possible. left at 11, continued work on car! (: and i managed to finish editing both scene 1 and scene 2. all done! sense of achievement:D went to sakura, but now i'm hungry again. i'm always hungry for food =X been procrastinating but studying. don't ask me how i did that cause i didn't know how to. chem test tmr and trigo test on fri. there's still extra lesson for physics till 4 tmr. what a life.

it ain't going away.

I'd like to make myself believe

2010-08-31T13:39:00.001+08:00

teacher's day concert was kind of a torture to me. i was super hungry, tired and high tide. like super. it was so boring. we had to sit in the middle of nowehere, which is so called the walkway =/ my sole entertainer was art rep. i was like so glad when i managed to get out of the crowd after such a long time. i want to sleep. no i need to study. but shucks. i have no motivation. and projects are making me go crazy. kinda suck, no class tee today): i don't want to go tuition later! gahhhhhhhs.

I know there are some things you can’t change.

I know there are some situations where apologies hold no bearings
I know that twists of fate bring people together,
and sometimes “everything happens for a reason” can tear them apart.
I know that I will never forget you, for you will always have a place in my heart.

they try to teach me how to dance

2010-08-30T20:27:00.000+08:00

monday blues. totally. didn't really sleep yesterday, coughing the whole night D: got back ss test(: i finished one tube of halls. i know i pro, but because my throat kept itching and i had no choice. guzheng was okay i guess. nothing much.

that text really meant a lot to me. and it made me feel better too. i think i'm really crazy already, to a point where i have to mug to not think about it, sitting there smiling and laughing like a lunatic. but i'm still glad that you're in my life :D

dream comes true

2010-08-29T15:27:00.000+08:00

this month's broder perspective is ultra nice. or i should say, especially nice. usually, i don't pay much attention to english magazines. i'll throw them aside the moment i have them. but this month's issue is really interesting. =D feeling horrible. coughing like nobody's business. and my whole house is so noisy thanks to my coughing. have been mugging really hard. due to many reasons i guess. motivation + pressure. hahas. but because of those motivation, i like studying! you never knew how much that text meant to me. 11:11 guess you didn't notice it but when i received it, i was practically hypering away in my room. it was the best night ever. i won't stop wishing though(: can't wait.

I haven't stopped wishing for you every 11:11

2010-08-27T17:00:00.000+08:00

once again, i'm inspired by dance subaru :D eoy's round the corner. pressure is building up. i hope that you know that i'm doing this not only for myself, but it's for you too. do you understand my silence? i'm in fact torturing myself =/

keep holding on

2010-08-26T19:01:00.002+08:00

我盼著你說過的那一天

我不停催趕世界
世界變成了一點點
你的溫暖卻在蔓延

因為你摸不到快樂的邊
我不停對抗思念
為什麼地球是個圓
我的心情像一只箭

心動了敞開了舞動的手鏈
想哭了不在乎流淚的膚淺
回憶也悄悄地消失在黑夜
拴住你的心才是終點
愛過了自由了更懂得感謝
想念了才知道空虛的眷戀
從白天到黑夜愛透明孤單
穿越了心動的界限
我等著你出現

我盼著你說過的那一天
我不停催趕世界
世界變成了一點點
你的溫暖卻在蔓延

因為你摸不到快樂的邊
我不停對抗思念
為什麼地球是個圓
我的心情像一只箭

心動了敞開了舞動的手鏈
想哭了不在乎流淚的膚淺
回憶也悄悄地消失在黑夜
拴住你的心才是終點
愛過了自由了更懂得感謝
想念了才知道空虛的眷戀
從白天到黑夜愛透明孤單
穿越了心動的界限
我等著你出現

心動了敞開了舞動的手鏈
想哭了不在乎流淚的膚淺
回憶也悄悄地消失在黑夜
拴住你的心才是終點
愛過了自由了更懂得感謝
想念了才知道空虛的眷戀
從白天到黑夜愛透明孤單
穿越了心動的界限
我等著你出現

等著晴天出現
等著明天再見
等那一天實現

i don't know what to feel. all i knew was that my heart did skip a beat.

you.

2010-08-26T18:57:00.000+08:00

i never expect myself to be writing this but somehow, here i am, writing this to you.

we have been through ups and downs. i thought that since we've come this far, we had learn how to accept and be there for each other. whenever we're out there tgt, just the two of us, or just simply on the phone, have you realized that you're the one talking most of the time, and all that talk only revolve around one person? you never gave me a chance to talk and what's more, that one person makes me feel uncomfortable. i don't say it doesn't mean i don't feel it or like it. you used to look for me once in a while just to catch up with our lives. but i guess there's no such thing anymore. we used to gossip and talk almost every single day and look, do we even talk once a week? it's like our distance is drifting further anf further apart. you are always the first i look for whenever i've got good or bad news. i used to cry to you on the phone and i can look for you any single time. but i'm afraid to approach you now. i'm using the word afraid. whenever i look into your eyes now, it seems like i don't understand or know you at all. it all seems so.. weird i guess. it's no longer the same. is it just that we're both of different classes now or that both of us have changed so much, so much that we both don't know what's going through each other's mind? you stood such an important place in my heart, but what am i to you? just another friend? i know i shouldn't be expecting but i can't help to, because you are that important to me. i'm waiting, but i don't know how long i'll be standing here waiting for you to realize how far we've become. maybe by the time you realize, it might be already too late and that i've turned my back and never look back.

the reason i live is you

2010-08-23T22:22:00.000+08:00

nothing much today. monday blues as usual. didn't fall asleep in any classes today. it's considered a feat already. did hw during guzheng. homed with old cheng. and i kept laughing non-stop. she knows why! =D ss quiz tmr. and i was such a smart ass. i actually left my ss book in school. thanks wk! this is not the first timr already! zoey seah tmr. =/ and chinese test + el summary test on wed. triple sian-ness. oh, and make up for mavis on thu. oh suck! yet to memorize my script for chinese att, and yet to rehearse my lines for radio documentary. approximately 1 more month to eoy. what a great moment for everyone to put pressure on me. and YOU are not helping. guess you don't even know what your hecking role is. or probably, you don't give a damn. oh well, thanks for NOT helping me. at least, i don't use propaganda like you. and i believe i'll succeed in life better than you do. wait and see.

ten thousand lightning bugs

2010-08-22T14:36:00.001+08:00

i'm hungry at the sight of this =/ i think i'm obsessed over ice-cream O:

i'll back off so you can live better

2010-08-21T22:49:00.000+08:00

It’s not the person you are with but the person you become when you are with that person. Certain people bring out your best self. That’s who you need to find. A person who brings out your best self.

2010-08-21T14:38:00.002+08:00

it's still you, fyi.

bulletproof

2010-08-21T14:34:00.001+08:00

i'm craving for this now. yes, the whole tub of it. i know i'm greedy :D

chinese project is wearing me out. i had to watch the whole of happy feet all over again because i forgot what it was about. the hilarious thing? the language for happy feet was in chinese so i had a hard time figuring their names out when typing out my report. oh suck shit. done with the content for the movie and slides (prezi!) and i'm just left with reflections. but it can kill. i'm down with flu and cough. i want to sleep badly and i've been racking my brain for the content since 11 in the morning. having dance later. and i guess i'll have to mug late tonight! haven't study for any tests yet, let to eoy. oh whatever. job castillo's not in the semi D:

chasing pavements

2010-08-21T12:33:00.002+08:00

When people turn their back on you it’s when you realize who really believes in you.

the love that you tossed away

2010-08-20T19:58:00.000+08:00

A small change in attitude can make a huge change.

vanilla twilight

2010-08-19T18:12:00.000+08:00

don't follow your dreams, chase it.
still can't believe it. stomach flipping.

maybe it's meant to be

2010-08-18T22:23:00.002+08:00

Did you ever fall for someone, that you really didn’t want to words can’t explain why, but you love being with them every minute. It’s one of the few things that make you happy and it shouldn’t, and all you wanted to do was try to give up on them, but you couldn’t.

that's all you've got

2010-08-18T19:19:00.002+08:00

the best way to predict the future is to create it.

rainbow veins

2010-08-18T15:38:00.001+08:00

i'm beginning to see the same things from different perspectives. somehow i guess. i used to hate dogs, now i think they're uber cute. i used to hate physics like what the shit but i'm beginning to be amazed by the physics theories. i used to don't give a damn about olympics but now i'm going gaga over it. i used to hate school like nobody's business but at least i'm finding happiness in the hardest times. i love the food i used to hate and then start wondering why there is this sudden change all of a sudden. maybe, i have grown. something that nobody even einsten/ newton can prove wrong or stop it from happening even after coming up with theories. but some things are still missed by me. if i were given a choice, i'd choose to go back time. to the old days where affection is all it matters. stress-free, there's no need to study till your face turning green. to put it simply, i miss the carefree. maybe if one day i can invent a time machine which can travel faster than 3 x 10^8 m/s, i'd be able to go back to my childhood. somehow, i find myself not smiling as much as i used to. and a research proved that an adult only smiles on an average of 15 times a day. compared to a baby who can laugh/ smile every single min. enough of ranting, i should get back to work. oh, and i'm addicted to owl city. (:

it's like i'm learning all over again

2010-08-18T15:24:00.002+08:00

the most beautiful things cannot be seen or heard but are felt by the heart.
- helen keller

but when i look at the stars

2010-08-18T15:18:00.000+08:00

Some of the most comforting words that can be heard are “me too.” That moment when you find out that your struggle is also someone else’s struggle and that you’re not alone, fighting that same battle.

but again, would someone say that to me?

fireflies

2010-08-17T19:28:00.000+08:00

before mugging again for history, i shall do a little update. skipped tuition today. couldn't complete my hw + revision + super ultra dead tired + raining heavily that's why i didn't go. whole week will be hectic i guess. with all the moe people coming down for observation + presentation of att in front of mdm liew. oh shucks. i have hitler to fight with tmr and waves including electrospectrum to kill me on fri. i don't like this life. especially when i have to live to live up to my expectations. and the worse thing? i'm a zillion times away from them. alrights, back to mugging. O:

until i try i'll never know

2010-08-15T19:02:00.000+08:00

you spent so much of your life basing yourself on what you think others think of you. then you realize that maybe one of the purposes of life is not to care.

i could really make a wish right now

2010-08-15T18:58:00.000+08:00

the mexican guy looks awesome don't he! and he is uber friendly! well, yes! i watched the whole game squealing away. in fact i was at the sg indoor stadium the whole morning! badminton prelimary wasn't as bad as i thought it would be. some of the matches (like above) are quite intensive and competitive. our seats were like the best. and no! i didn't take that. i ripped off from some random website which i can't remember what. he's my fav athelete now(: though he lost to korea, i still find him awesome! and i loved this match the most. i was getting bored halfway and had to buy something to drink. watched the live telecast on the match between sg and india. sg won! :D didn't regret going at all. once in a lifetime you know! and i (L) my yog card. it's so damn amazing. and i've changed my blogskin(:

i won't be shaken by the actions of yours. not this time round. or rather i should say, forever. because you know what i hated. betrayal.